Letting go………………..

They say that the “grass is greener on the other side.”But it has always been the exact opposite for me. I have always lived in a bubble, under the impression that I am the one traversing fairer pastures. Living in my own surrealism, I never realized when this bubble burst.
I have always told my best of friends that one should ‘let go’ and ‘move on’. But that is exactly how life is. It takes a 180 degree turn and bam!- you are where you never imagined you’d be.
I thank God everyday that He has given me a loving family, such wonderful friends and such a ‘BIG’ bundle of ‘LOVE’ ,(pardon the incoherent adjective, but people who know me will know what I mean) yet I sometimes wonder why I still feel the compulsion to stand under a shower just to hide those incessant streams that never cease to flow.
I guess ‘letting go’ is just another accessory to this lingual wonderland called ‘English’ – it is an euphemism for “you cannot have it, so you shouldnot ask for it”.As a dear friend of mine would say “Life always f***s you when you least expect it”!
My better senses tell me to let go, but my heart rebels. I DONOT WANT TO LET GO……………………….I want to remain in this bubble forever, forever……………………..but, wait, hasn’t this bubble already burst? I donot believe it. I donot know where to go, I donot know what to do………….
I am lost in this jungle called ‘Life’ and I can’t find my way out of it. There is not a sign that tells me the way. There is not a map that shows me the road. I am lost……….and I am all alone. I can hear my own voice echo……..again and again it screams, “ I DONOT WANT TO LET GO”.
Didn’t someone say that there is a silver lining beneath every black cloud? Doesn’t it mean that there is always Hope? Or maybe it is another one of those beautiful-ugly euphemisms?
How can I let go? How do I force myself to let go? Should I let go? Dear friends, I am still waiting for an answer………………………..